Hello World,
At this moment, I want to scream & yell out in the loudest voice I have,
“No, you have no idea what all we have done and all we haven’t done to take care of our child” &
“No, you can’t fathom the depth of our love for our child, so please don’t even dare think…even for a moment in that junk-o-genesis head of yours that ‘your child is deprived of parent’s love’.
And “Yes, I love my child so much that I will do the best for him even if it means I have to put up with a few of his tears so that I can make way for a ton of his smiles in the future”.
“No, It’s not about me/us…it’s all about the child…at least for us, parents. No, I don’t care if you are going to judge us…go ahead and do it… all you want but NO, I will not let that tamper my judgment and compromise long term benefits for my child, in raising my child in the best possible way I can strive to keep finding out about”
This is in response to anyone & everyone , both to the ‘truly tenderly lovingly concerned yet I don’t have the patience or time to be anything more than ignorant’ and to the ‘hardly concerned but I just want to throw out my judgmental opinion about your entire parenting based on my expert 15mins to 50mins observation’ types.
"Yes, I love you all…my family, my friends, my folks, my countrymen, my fellow humans… But I don’t have to prove that to you by following your instruction on how you think I should raise my child – be it feeding him or putting him to sleep! If I choose to breastfeed him rather than clean up my messy house…so be it. Please take heed and leave it to the parents if they chose CIO method or the No Tears method for sleep training. Trust me, the suggestions you are thinking of right now, might have already been tried and failed a thousand times , including a hundred other options that you would not even have thought of. There is always a reason that you might not be able to perceive it simply because you are not spending every passing second of your life thinking about the baby since before his/her conception, like the parents do. And that is absolutely fine! No one expects you to understand too but please reserve your hurtful opinions in the same way towards the parents.
Rather I would feel like and truly be a bad parent if I succumb to the pressure of being judged and thereby raise my child trying to please everyone but the future-grown-up child of mine. And of that I could never forgive myself. It would be inexcusable for me to knowingly have done the second best things for my child despite my better judgment, merely on the grounds of pleasing friends, family & the society.
“No, I am not Perfect and I don’t know everything but I promise this one thing, not for you but for myself & the Great Lord who has blessed us with the raising of this precious child, “ I will always do my best and strive to find out what the best is for my child, relentlessly and never cease to learn and make better my own judgement within the scope of the limited human knowledge I have been bestowed”
What am I trying to accomplish by my outcry to the world right now? I guess nothing really...or how about maybe something simple as :
The next time you see a kid scream and cry, be it in your neighborhood , mall or a random plane, PLEASE Remember before sighing & judging "The parents are trying their best too. Give them some time to cope up, learn, blossom and be experts". Soon, very soon they will master the art of instantly soothing or calming or controlling the situation . Nevertheless, you may still end up in a few such awkward moments despite reaching parenting level : Expert.
The next time you see a messy house with a newborn kid. Please hold your peace (& you tongue) for though you know that there are 24 long hours in a day to clean up, what you know not is that every single second of that hour might be consumed by the time required for caring for the baby - feeding, pumping, atleast hopefully 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, dumping (yes, i said that), changing diapers, cleaning that stray poop and the projectile burp, eating, cooking, working full-time, washing/sterilizing the bottles & pump (multiply that 5 times a day!), grocery shopping etc . (Sigh...i should soon write an elaborate break up of this 24 hour schedule on another page...another day)
Trust me , I have been there on the other side, not very long ago where its easy & quick to judge someone having a tough day with a kid in public or at home. If I could go back in time, to that exact moment and tell something to my past self, I would whisper in my past self's ears,
' Firstly, Stop staring... And just give those parents, a smile.. and if you still want to say something, tell them " Your kid is adorable"!'
Yup, that's the erase it all magic word that makes it all better and worth it. :-)
At this moment, I want to scream & yell out in the loudest voice I have,
“No, you have no idea what all we have done and all we haven’t done to take care of our child” &
“No, you can’t fathom the depth of our love for our child, so please don’t even dare think…even for a moment in that junk-o-genesis head of yours that ‘your child is deprived of parent’s love’.
And “Yes, I love my child so much that I will do the best for him even if it means I have to put up with a few of his tears so that I can make way for a ton of his smiles in the future”.
“No, It’s not about me/us…it’s all about the child…at least for us, parents. No, I don’t care if you are going to judge us…go ahead and do it… all you want but NO, I will not let that tamper my judgment and compromise long term benefits for my child, in raising my child in the best possible way I can strive to keep finding out about”
This is in response to anyone & everyone , both to the ‘truly tenderly lovingly concerned yet I don’t have the patience or time to be anything more than ignorant’ and to the ‘hardly concerned but I just want to throw out my judgmental opinion about your entire parenting based on my expert 15mins to 50mins observation’ types.
"Yes, I love you all…my family, my friends, my folks, my countrymen, my fellow humans… But I don’t have to prove that to you by following your instruction on how you think I should raise my child – be it feeding him or putting him to sleep! If I choose to breastfeed him rather than clean up my messy house…so be it. Please take heed and leave it to the parents if they chose CIO method or the No Tears method for sleep training. Trust me, the suggestions you are thinking of right now, might have already been tried and failed a thousand times , including a hundred other options that you would not even have thought of. There is always a reason that you might not be able to perceive it simply because you are not spending every passing second of your life thinking about the baby since before his/her conception, like the parents do. And that is absolutely fine! No one expects you to understand too but please reserve your hurtful opinions in the same way towards the parents.
Rather I would feel like and truly be a bad parent if I succumb to the pressure of being judged and thereby raise my child trying to please everyone but the future-grown-up child of mine. And of that I could never forgive myself. It would be inexcusable for me to knowingly have done the second best things for my child despite my better judgment, merely on the grounds of pleasing friends, family & the society.
“No, I am not Perfect and I don’t know everything but I promise this one thing, not for you but for myself & the Great Lord who has blessed us with the raising of this precious child, “ I will always do my best and strive to find out what the best is for my child, relentlessly and never cease to learn and make better my own judgement within the scope of the limited human knowledge I have been bestowed”
What am I trying to accomplish by my outcry to the world right now? I guess nothing really...or how about maybe something simple as :
The next time you see a kid scream and cry, be it in your neighborhood , mall or a random plane, PLEASE Remember before sighing & judging "The parents are trying their best too. Give them some time to cope up, learn, blossom and be experts". Soon, very soon they will master the art of instantly soothing or calming or controlling the situation . Nevertheless, you may still end up in a few such awkward moments despite reaching parenting level : Expert.
The next time you see a messy house with a newborn kid. Please hold your peace (& you tongue) for though you know that there are 24 long hours in a day to clean up, what you know not is that every single second of that hour might be consumed by the time required for caring for the baby - feeding, pumping, atleast hopefully 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, dumping (yes, i said that), changing diapers, cleaning that stray poop and the projectile burp, eating, cooking, working full-time, washing/sterilizing the bottles & pump (multiply that 5 times a day!), grocery shopping etc . (Sigh...i should soon write an elaborate break up of this 24 hour schedule on another page...another day)
Trust me , I have been there on the other side, not very long ago where its easy & quick to judge someone having a tough day with a kid in public or at home. If I could go back in time, to that exact moment and tell something to my past self, I would whisper in my past self's ears,
' Firstly, Stop staring... And just give those parents, a smile.. and if you still want to say something, tell them " Your kid is adorable"!'
Yup, that's the erase it all magic word that makes it all better and worth it. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment