I've been one of you girls who have been recently reading all
about those stories of girls speaking up about their experience with perverts
growing up and how hard it has been being a girl in India. My story though
along the same lines, has a different ending, a different place and many more
differences. While I did not ever plan on writing about this issue, a recent
encounter with an old school friend of mine reminded me of incidents long
forgotten. Here's how it all started:
Last week, during my vacation in Dubai, I had the opportunity to
meet up & reconnect with some school friends I had not met for over a
decade. AAA, being one of them. During my pleasant nostalgic conversation with
her, she exclaimed how her Dad still remembers me by my nick name from those
school days - 'Jhansi Rani'. That came as a surprise to me as I myself didn't recollect
such a nick name and asked her why he connected me with that name. To which,
she proceeded to say that "It's coz of that incident in high school, u
know… where u took the stone and chased that pervert away". And so the
memories came flooding back... memories long forgotten. Nope, this one is not
another sob story... it’s been just another amusing memory where I laugh it
out. However, there are few issues I wanted to bring up from my own experience
based on some introspection over the years.
Here goes the story:
It was just another weekday morning in Fujairah, UAE. (Surprise! It’s
not India!). As usual I was running a little behind on schedule compared to my
middle school sister who was already promptly ready and waiting outside in our
usual spot for the school bus. I rushed and approached the 'galli - a narrow
hidden street connecting 2 bigger streets', with my heavy school bag on my back.
The next 5mins had way too many things happen way too fast. As I kept walking,
I could see someone's head peeking at me from the other side of the narrow
street. I assumed it was my little sister playing games with me and continued
to walk forward. And then, within the blink of an eye, came this lean older
sun-burnt scrawny guy, running with his hand stretched out towards me...
towards my chest, to be precise. Boom! I lost my balance and tumbled a little
as his dirty hand left a dirty hand print on my cleanly washed and crisply
ironed blue school uniform. Thank you Jesus, for the reflexes in the next few
second!
I immediately screamed at the top of my loud voice... not
mommy...not daddy...not anything u can predict! Yup, I screamed “POLICE!
POLICE...CALL THE POLICE...YOU RASCAL...HOW DARE YOU? POLICE...CALL THE
POLICE...". And simultaneously, I bent down and picked up a big enough
stone that i could manage to get my hands on... At the same time, i saw the guy
freeze for a fraction of a second and then run away at top speed! I continued
yelling "POLICE POLICE CATCH THAT SCOUNDREL... WAIT U RASCAL...U COWARD...STOP!@#$%^"
and I chased him throwing stones at him all along. To this day, I curse my
heavy school bag that slowed me and let that pervert get away! At that same
instant, my mom who must have heard me from inside the house, came running out
and without asking a word she started yelling, running and searching for that
guy based on where i was looking and facing. This scene always stayed with
me...'my mom running at top speed and yelling out' - firstly because she was
recovering from a compound fracture on her leg and had a rod and screw put in
her legs. So I hadn't seen her even walk fast in the past few months, let alone
run and curse!
All was still again...no trace of where that guy had disappeared!
All this within a few seconds in my memory! Within the next minute, my school
bus arrived and I left with my sister and continued my routine school day as if
nothing had happened. Except…I shared the story with my best friend, SSS in the
school bus, which might have been overheard by a few others listening to us.
After I got back home, My mom's first reaction after making sure all was well
with me was to tell me not to say a word about this incident to anyone...not
even my best friend...hmmn... well, it was too late for that. At that time, I
was puzzled as to why my mom was so concerned about what I told my friends.
Nothing really happened after all (especially in my teen mind). However I
understood her concern a month later when i heard someone in the church
ignorantly talk to me about some girl in Indian school who was almost raped but
narrowly escaped! Really??? People??? That was heights of a story getting blown
up!
A few things about this incident:
*While I never saw that man/pervert again after that day, it was
not the first time I had seen him. In fact, I had seen him walking through that
'galli street' or standing opposite to the road and gaze from a shop...for over
2 years. While my inexperience n a little innocence had ignored any warning
until then, this incident helped me hone my instincts and be hyper alert and
observant of my surroundings later in life. Later, even during my College days
in Philly, I would confidently walk to & fro from the library/college to
home at all odd hours but would be on high alert about the people in my
surroundings and also chase after muggers without a second thought (obviously after calling the cops)
* I have learnt that the more confident, alert and fearless u
appear, it helps in keeping off perverts/attackers/muggers to an extent (just a
personal thought...may not work for in all circumstances). After-all, most
prefer an easy target. So don't be one. Stand up! Speak up! Scream if u have
to.
* I have learnt that having a loud voice and speaking up is not
bad. Yes I am a girl and yes I have had many people tell me to "talk
softly dear, talk slowly...u r a girl". To all of those who told me that,
here is my answer that i have been itching to give you ,'I am a girl, I have a
loud voice and you know what, it has helped me more than once...be it in
winning debate competition/ declamation/ extempore speech/ dramatics or even
seminars in colleges... My loud voice has been a blessing and in the case of
this incident! Thank God I can scream at the top of my voice, if needed"
* Most importantly, perverts are all over... just waiting for the
right opportunity... and they aren't specific to any one country. What makes a difference,
is how the society molds their minds/actions and deals with them. In this
specific incident, the guy was surely scared of the consequences and yet took a
chance. Thanks to UAE for having severe punishments for such cases. Had I kept
quiet and succumbed to any fear on my own part or any baseless guilt, he would
have gotten the better of it. As a society, we need to get the
'who-is-to-blame' right and stop sowing a seed of guilt in the girls’ hearts. We need to teach our girls to speak up... fight back... scream against injustice... act with courage and most of all "DON'T be Quiet! God has given you a voice...use it wisely. And yup, its not your shame (as Shehnaz puts it)"
Now for those of you wondering about my puzzling reaction to that
pervert. Apart from God's Almighty grace, what prepared me for such an incident
was .... the ugly truth that this was not my first encounter with a pervert nor
was I ignorant of such happenings with my fellow kids. Over the years, I had
rehearsed n re-rehearsed in my mind about getting back at that breed of
ethically & morally deformed members of our species.
Praise God! For he has truly given his angels charge over me , every single time...despite danger putting its ugly nose up against mine but letting me escape away each time... unscathed
,,, unperturbed.
AMEN!
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