Wake up World! Wake up India! Change your Views - For Women.

I am compelled to pen down my thoughts as an outcome of just having seen the BBC documentary, "India's Daughter". I have too many emotions boiling within me waiting to be expressed all at once as I struggle to prioritize which emotion I should be addressing first. Should I start with the strong sense of remorse for the poor girl - Jyoti, who was brutally raped and murdered or the overwhelming feeling of wondering and wanting to reach out to her distraught parents who have lost everything they ever lived for, toiled for and built their hopes and dreams upon. Being a parent myself and having raised my one year old thus far, I cannot even fathom the excruciating pain of losing a fine young daughter of 23 years! On the other hand, I feel a sense of utter disgust at having to share this planet with the heartless monsters like the rapists, who clearly show not even an iota of guilt over their misdeeds. And there are these other 'waste of spaces' in society - some educated but incompetent lawyers, (criminal yet) lawmakers, politicians and even many ignorant women themselves who approve of the appalling mindset of blaming the victim- the girl than the culprit(s) who should be severely punished. 

While I would like to salute the efforts of Ms.Leslee Udwin in rekindling the lost spark that was witnessed soon after the Nirbhaya incident back in 2012, I am also deeply disturbed by some of the responses to the documentary. Well, truth be told, the reaction of the government to ban the documentary is not too surprising. Especially, given the fact that the so-called government consists of a substantial number of people who share not only the same ruthless-baseless patriarchal views as the rapist but also are themselves unproven rapists roaming around freely and going about shamefully ruling our country. However, it is the reaction of some of my own friends and acquaintances who seem to strongly share the same view as that of the government in terms of the fate of the documentary- i.e. it needs to be banned!

Some of you have questioned the motive of maker of the documentary. Others have questioned the authority under which a foreigner has come up with such a piece of work that certainly doesn’t make us Indians proud. Yet again, there are the others who seem to reason out that this work, when telecast would be a moment of reliving the horror for the victim’s parents. Lastly, there is also this group that advocates that the rapist’s views should not be telecast.

In my opinion, the motive is evident and you too would realize it without me having to explicitly describe it, IF any of your emotions were strongly reawakened towards the end of the video.
Did you feel the pain?
Did you share the anger?
Do you feel that a change is mandatory?
Do you not feel that we as a society, as humans (firstly) and (only then) Indians should address this problem of gender inequality at its core?

If you did feel any of this – then that’s your answer to the motive question.

Talking about the second question concerning the right of the foreigner (the good Samaritan- if you ask me) to show our country in bad limelight, I have one question for you. Would it have made any difference if the maker of this documentary was an Indian? I believe, any anger directed towards the maker in this regard is a diversion of the well-deserved focus/anger surrounding the issue of rape & gender inequality. Put your anger as well as blame in the right place/issue, where it belongs. At least a foreigner has put in time & effort into raising awareness about an issue that still remains unresolved and is something that fellow citizens like us failed to do so. How many of you truly kept yourself up-to- date about what the proceeding of the nirbhaya incidents (& their likes) have been…let alone personally taken some actions to make any difference whatsoever? We almost forgot that we have an elephant (Rape & gender inequality issue) in the room (country/world) that we have turned a blind eye on and continued to move on with our lives…failed to put pressure on the change makers (aka lawmakers) and pursue not just justice for the past incidents but ensure a better future for our future generations by awareness, education and addressing the core issues/mindset. Finally, as a fellow human being and a woman, she (Ms.Leslee) has every right to throw light on the issue not-withholding herself to manmade political (country) borders.

Thirdly, my fellow concerned citizens who cry out for the feelings of the victim’s parents: Please watch the whole documentary first. The parents were definitely supportive and strongly advocated awareness about the issue that took away their precious daughter from them and yet, still hope to have this awareness bring about a change in the juvenile rapists’ punishment. They have clearly bestowed their corporation to the film-making (acknowledged in the beginning of the documentary and also substantiated by their own words in the latter half of the video). The parents have already gone through immense unimaginable pain and nothing would be able to perturb them any more than the lack of justice for their daughter’s case. If awareness is what is needed to bring about the awakening and a chance for justice- so be it. Even if I imagine myself in the shoes of the poor parents (incomparable & undoable!) for a minuscule second, amidst all the pain, I would certainly want my child’s death avenged with justice and not want it to be forgotten without a revolution of change.

Lastly, the ban issue is not about the ‘freedom of speech’ of the rapists! For goodness sake!
It’s about the freedom of speech of press, expression, awareness etc. Undeniably, there is a monstrous problem of gender inequality deeply rooted in our society starting from every home, every village, every classroom, courtroom and all the way up to the top governing personalities.

While you may question, ‘what is the point of just writing this or sharing a few words on social media?’. The truth remains that, even if we do nothing but share on fb, twitter etc, we get people (& ourselves) thinking…or rather RE-thinking their ideologies. The more the people talk about this issue, the more the awareness silently spreads…into their homes, into their office spaces, our classrooms and hopefully we all can at least start thinking and maybe… for every 1000 thinker/talker, even if we get a single doer, the cumulative change with be overwhelming over time.

Lastly, I pen this for my son (the future grown up man) to know how his mom felt and also to value his EQUALLY valuable beautiful counterpart gender – be it his mom, sister, friend or any random lady on the street. And thus I want to begin the change at my home.

Dear Son,

“Judge not a lady’s intellect merely by her dressing.
 Never undermine her inner strength and wisdom.

I am not asking you to put women above men…Nay, not so my son

But ask I, of thee,

To show no difference in judgment between either -Man or Woman.

While each have their unique areas of strength and weakness;

Where they excel each other in some way or another,

Remember, God our Father certainly sees us all as one,

And not any one less than the other
but each, an invaluable and equally precious gem with

Love worth pursuing and love unconditional enough dying for”

(not my original picture! just a relevant google image )